They do, however, have an amazing ability to scan people for their strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, hopes and fears. By so doing a narcissist can mirror and reflect this back at you in order to create a connection. Mirroring is quite common, we all do it on some unconscious level but, as with everything with a narcissist, narcissistic mirroring is extreme. You will feel you have met your soul mate when, in reality, you have just met a dangerous manipulator. The connection they create is entirely false as they have to fake intimacy because they cannot securely attach. Once you are securely attached the narcissist will eventually come to see that you are a regular human being. You will be split and start to be devalued and experience all the negative projections. The good news is none of it is about you so don’t take it personally. The bad news is it will hurt, confuse and traumatise so it will be impossible not to take it personally especially since your perfect soul mate promised you the stars and the heavens only to consign you to everlasting pit of hell. It’s unimaginably cruel and it’s difficult for anyone who has not experienced the cycle of abuse to grasp the depths of despair to which the narcissist’s callousness can drive you. It is maddening, it is abject desolation
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